Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
After a handful of turbulent, roller-coaster years, I am now ready to face the world again. I don’t mean that I lived behind closed doors, because my life had been spent quite largely under open skies. What I mean is that, I am now ready to face the challenges that await me, this time, hopefully, with calmness and presence of mind. The events that happened and how I learned from them should be enough to serve as lessons as I start my journey again. Sometimes, nostalgia sets in, but it takes only one second to finally reconcile and come to terms with the past, after all, it’s totally absurd to go back and change the past! So why be so stuck? Just let it be. Having to accept brings me assurance, peace of mind. And besides, I don’t have a remote control or a time machine to go back to time and make things right or the way I wanted them to be. I realized that it’s indeed true that we tend to want things which are not good to us, and we also dislike things which are good to us. God has different ways where He teaches us many lessons about life, and most of the time, through ordinary or unexpected events. I have learned that God’s plans are better, and to keep faith and trust in His wisdom is the best thing to do.
So, how did things went for this girl who wanted to be a scientist and psychologist? (Sigh) Thinking about it, it’s been three years since I finished my bachelor’s degree in psychology (so what now), a course which during my school days, I really wanted to practice. But unfortunately, due to lack of opportunities for newly-graduated psychologists who want to practice the science of psychology, I found myself in-between different roads. Those times were indeed difficult for me to understand and it took time before I accepted the sad truth. After spending three months on vacation (trying to apply for a job on a far place), I finally went home to assist my parents on our family business. I spent two years on our shop as an assistant manager and cashier. I also drew and painted a lot during my vacant time. Really determined to explore art, I studied how to use different mediums such as watercolor, oil, and gouache; in the process, accumulating some finished works. By the end of last year, I took the Medical Admissions Test (with passing grades) and then, I was assigned to work as a librarian and secretary, with my father as my boss. During my work, I am saving up for my future studies, hopefully, and pursuing my favorite hobbies such as writing, painting, photography, and reading. I re-connected with myself and settled some personal issues, studied more about my faith and strengthened my relationship with God. I have lost contact with my circle of acquaintances and friends, but I had been more connected with my family. We all go to work and eat together, and travel very often. And by the way, I’m also learning how to drive, so I can cruise the road and travel more, that’s one thing to look forward to!Currently, I have a plan of writing a book about Islam and Psychology. Still on the process of gathering some related literature and developing the rationale, this endeavor was a long-held dream that I very much look forward to accomplish. Along with this project, I am also building my own art and design firm, White Edges. This summer vacation, I also organize Arabic Classes and prepare Correspondence Lessons. I’m really very busy with activities. With regards to other goals, I’ll probably wait until next year to ‘finally’ decide if I’m still going to pursue Medical School (very, very expensive) or Graduate Studies or continue my work in the field of art and writing. Either way I’m very excited! So much for all the past learnings, there were sad truths, but there are new beginnings, and it’s a blessing to have the opportunity to work anew and explore! :)With lots of love and creative inspirations,Maica
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
I don't know if my hiatus was for the better or not. I went through many life changing experiences which changed a lot of my principles and views about life, and I think, it still goes on. It's about three years or so, and I had been enduring some traces of pain from a sort of mournful event. I closed my doors to many people, including my friends, and many acquaintances as well. I closed my life to the outside world and went through a lot of life reflections. In front of my eyes, I clearly saw and still seeing that the things and people I valued the most were not how they really are, and as time went on, I realized how disillusioned I really was. Perhaps I still closed my eyes to the harsh and bitter realities of life. As I went on trying to understand and know what is happening, the world is fast changing, and people are all busy with their lives, and it seemed that as time passes by, I am becoming a stranger.As I insist on sticking to what I believe in and maintaining my silence, standing still in the middle of the turbulence that happens around, there were many instances as if I was being shoved and pushed away, which I think the reasons being that I refuse to change. Could it be? Or is it me who is changing? There were so many questions I wanted to ask...and at the end of the day, there is silence. There were even times when I didn't expect that a childhood friend whom I valued a lot could change that fast as to treat me like a stranger. It's a sad and hurtful truth and most of the time, I have to accept that it's no more use of expecting that people whom I valued once will always treat me the same as the old days
I never expected that people change a lot. Nor did I thought that my bestfriend will really change. I guess that's life really, people change, some go, and some stay, and it's no denying that we get hurt when they go. Sometimes, we bump on people who were really close to us years ago, just to see that they no longer remember us today.. Change is permanent, and we have to live with it. We even have to embrace it, but as for me, though they might forget me, they will always be on my memory just like they were many years ago. As we go along the way, we encounter new people and make new memories, most of which are very unexpected.
I still manage to go on and pursue many goals and projects. But one of the things that bother me a lot is the habit of 'trying to hold on,' sometimes, a refusal to change. I get sad easily by these things...and it's a freeing experience that once they had come out of my chest, I am more at ease within myself.
"How wonderful is the state of the believer. All of his affairs are good for him! And that is not so, except for the believer. If he has cause to be happy, he is thankful, and that is good for him. And if he is afflicted with hardship, he is patient, and that is good for him."
- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
When the tables have been turned, the firm belief that it is Allah Who is the best planner of our lives gives me assurance that everything that happens is for the good, and for a better reason. There are hidden blessings behind every trial, and the Destiny that God had prepared for every person is what is the best for him. I need to be more patient in waiting for the Will of Allah, and I believe that it in having the trust for His plans and working towards righteousness will finally answer my questions and my prayers.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Hello blog! This is going to be a day filled with many activities, and I hope I can finish them and take driving lessons in the afternoon.
The pink and fragrant flowers are blooming again in front of our house. What a beauty and blessing from God. :)
Love, Maica ♥
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April started out as an unexpected adventure again. I spent the day traveling and nature trekking at a forest. It was a sort of secluded place with an entrance that would be mistaken as a farm. As we drove along the wide fields which were surrounded with many mango trees heavy with their fruits, I didn’t actually guess that we were going to a forest. There were many bamboo trees and heavy vegetation.
We stopped by a little place with huts and we ate our lunch served on banana leaves. Our meal was rice with crabs and some fish and softdrinks. The nature trek was accompanied with bright sunshine and clear skies. I was wrong for choosing to wear my high-heeled wedge sandals so the walk proved to be a bit difficult.
Nevertheless, with my uneasy steps while walking, I truly enjoyed looking at the mango trees, and their fruits hanging by within easy reach; watching the little brook surrounded with many bamboo trees; and breathing in the beauty of the surrounding scenery. Sundays are filled with memories of travels and adventures, and they’re truly enjoyable! I published some of the photos on this event on my portfolio.
On another note, here are my upcoming activities for the month:
For this coming April, I am opening my art gallery and be selling my paintings. I’ll also offer my services for basic psychological consultation and assessment.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
I’m not only a petite girl, but I think like a little girl most of the time: a girl who is always filled with curiosity and wonder, a girl who always sees things as a new opportunity, and a little girl who loves to express herself and dress up. I’m living up to it, and I decided to choose being so, because I discovered that acting like being an adult could be very intimidating and very dry. So with an added maturity, I always choose to see things and situations at a brand new perspective, not an old person who is not able to tolerate and deals everything with rigidness and criticism.
Speaking of dressing up, I was always wishing that our place will have a temperate climate since I truly love wearing cool-weather clothes and layering them. I love style and fashion, and of course, pairing them with simplicity. In a hot weathered place like ours, it’s very difficult and impractical to wear sweaters and coats with closed shoes most of the time. If you choose to wear these kinds of clothes, chances are that in barely a minute, you’ll find yourself sweating all over, and the discomfort will soon settle unless you change to the less stylish hot-weathered clothes available.
For a change, I ignored all these considerations, and I tried to wear my thick, red hooded sweater. I took advantage of the somewhat cool early morning breeze and took it to myself that today was going to be a cool-weathered day. So I wore it for a half-day work. A few hours later, the cool morning breeze was replaced with the usual hot weather with the sun blaring on the skies. Before 10:00 am, I decided to remove the sweater. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable, so there, I changed it for a more comfortable (and less cute) long sleeve.
Now, I’m wondering: when will the cool weather come so I can wear my red sweater and be like little red riding hood?
Chocolates, cakes, ice cream and salads are not only beautiful to the eyes, but they're also one of life's pleasures. They lift you up with their sweetness, taste, aroma, and colors, whether you're feeling down or feeling happy.
It's been quite a while, or maybe about two years since I lost interest in food and in appetite, and it's really a lot refreshing to start loving to taste the pleasure of life that is eating. And of course, even though I might be really choosy with sweets and dishes, Cakes and sweet-smelling breads and salads wouldn't be missing from my list!